Actively rooting for someone to fail is the wrong way to go about living life. We should want other members of our species to succeed, if not for altruistic reasons, only because it can benefit the world in some way or another.
Is that a good enough caveat? I only ask because I am about to actively root for a person to fail.
Curt Hawkins. Where in the hell has he been?
Hawkins has been doing those incredibly outdated Chuck Norris ripoff-facts for over a month now. At No Mercy on Sunday, during the preshow (because of course it would be on the preshow), he declared that he would be making his in-ring debut at the next edition of SmackDown.
And you know what happened on Tuesday night? Nothing. He was nowhere to be found. It was an active, and very boring, game of “Where’s Waldo?”
Without being able to speak for the entire WWE Universe, and while wholeheartedly not attempting to wet blanket this entire endeavor, let’s just say this author is ready for the Hawkins angle — as a whole — to go the way of the dinosaurs.
Hawkins’ vignettes have been met with the same sort of excitement as The Shining Stars’ from a year ago. That is — inherently so, I might add — a bad thing. When pre-taped promos that are very literally designed to make a talent be a viable commodity instead turns the audience off, it is clearly a sign that the gimmick and/or character isn’t going to work.
It is why there should be no frown faces that the WWE failed to live up to its promise of (re)debuting Hawkins on Tuesday. Rather, we should applaud them for doing what we can only hope they did — which is pull the plug on this abomination of a character before it even hits our picture-boxes in sincerity.
While that’s not definitely what happened, as Hawkins likely just got lost in the booking shuffle, if the WWE still wants to use the former Tag Team Champion (yes, he’s a former Tag Team Champion) this character can be put in the dumpster and yet again repackaged.
Simply have Hawkins come out and be Hawkins. Let him acknowledge this train wreck that happened before him, admit partial responsibility for it, and let him move on as the glorified SmackDown jobber as he was always meant to be anyway.
That’s the key thing here. Even if the WWE sticks with this “Curt Hawkins facts” debacle, he was going to end up being a jobber. There’s no title runs in his future, or engaging feuds, or a single thing of consequence at the end of this rainbow. After all, while the creative team is having a hard time figuring out what to do with someone with actual talent like Apollo Crews, there’s very little reason to think Hawkins was going to come back to change the game.
Maybe I am wrong. Maybe, in the darkest of dark recesses of this character in which we’ve yet to actually see, there’s some good in this gimmick. Also, maybe Christina Ricci will go out on a date with me. Let’s see which of those two things happens first.
WWE, even if it is only for the sake of Hawkins himself, let’s quietly put this character in the trash, move on, and never speak of it again. It is what is best for everyone.